It’s Easter half-term at Cowgate Centre, a space usually filled with the comings and goings of babies, children and their families. Today is much calmer though; the centre is unusually quiet with term-time activities on pause. It is in this peaceful space the DARE programme is delivered.

DARE stands for Domestic Abuse Recovery and Education. Every school holiday (apart from Christmas), Children North East deliver this unique programme, supporting children and young people who have experienced or observed domestic abuse.

“The connection the children make with each other is incredibly important. They see they are not alone, there can be support and understanding from people within their age group.”

Those who have experienced domestic abuse are not alone. Children’s charity Barnardo’s estimates that 800,000 in the UK are impacted by domestic abuse [1], thought to be the tip of the iceberg. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021, recognised for the first time in UK law, that children under the age of 18 years who observe abuse and its effects, are essentially victims themselves.

“The whole programme is about giving children a voice about the things that have happened to them and witnessed,” shares Kwanele Bhebhe, Domestic Abuse Coordinator at Children North East and one of the DARE delivery team.

“Children are given a safe space to process trauma and confusion from past experiences. They should leave understanding that this shouldn’t happen to them again and know what to do if it does.”

Parents and children attend together, working in groups organised by age but coming together regularly to check-in and share. The groups take part in different sessions that are both reflective and practical. For example, one session explores what it means to feel safe and also has the young people create a safety plan for what to do if they feel in danger.

Along with processing difficult experiences, it can provide an opportunity to rebuild family relationships. Each day everyone on the programme has lunch together.

When asked what her experience of delivering the programme has been, Family Coordinator Nicola Newman shares, “It’s really powerful when you feel you have been able to support a family to communicate and have those challenging conversations about how they experienced the abuse. Giving a young person a voice can also help adults keep them safe in the future.”

Kwanele adds, “One thing we often find is that parents who are victims of abuse recognise that their sense of what a normal relationship looks like has been changed by the previously abusive relationship. They want to ‘reset’ that view – to protect their children and promote an understanding of healthy relationships to them. The DARE programme can support them to work towards that goal and speak honestly to their child about it.”

The DARE team have a wide range of experience and resources to draw on in their support, coming from a range of therapeutic and social work backgrounds, allowing them to provide support tailored to the specific needs of the families they are working with.

Julia Ruane, Family Support Worker shares, “The connection the children make with each other is incredibly important. They see they are not alone, there can be support and understanding from people within their age group.”

“When you see a child finally start to let their walls down and engage more when they break a smile… that’s what keeps me doing this work.”

Kwanele adds, “That often happens after they recognise they have been hurt and their parent recognises they have been hurt. That moment is important because it represents a step towards a better, more protected future.”

Learn more about the DARE programme and if it could support your family, or someone you know, on the Children North East website.

If you are in immediate danger as a result of domestic abuse, call 999.

National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247

If you urgently need to talk to someone about domestic abuse, including support to stay safe, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is open 24 hours a day. It is a free, confidential service which won’t appear on phone records and can provide interpreters if required.

[1] https://www.barnardos.org.uk/domestic-abuse

There is compelling evidence that the first 1001 days of a child’s life are critical in the development of the brain, so we have to keep the Little Minds in Mind.

“A baby’s first relationship with caregivers forms the blueprint for all future relationships.”

Our Little Minds in Mind programme is something Children North East are immensely proud of as it provides support that is significantly different from any other service in the North East. With insight from our Parent-Infant Therapist, Marie Clark, we want to take the time to share more on the importance of this work.

Becoming a parent is a time in which complicated emotions can arise. It can be hard to cope, but you are not alone. In light of research, our Little Minds in Mind team work with caregivers and their babies from pregnancy to 2 years old, to provide support throughout this transformative period. During this time, parents are particularly receptive to help and support, making it clear that this is an important window of opportunity for all.

“This service is for anyone interested in understanding their baby.”

Little Minds in Mind offers a supportive space to think together about feelings a parent may or may not have towards their baby, to develop an understanding of what the baby is communicating, reflect on how they see and experience the world around them and explore ways of responding.

The idea of asking for help and speaking with a therapist can be daunting, so Marie provides a description of what therapy can be. ‘We provide a safe, open environment in which we like to pull up a chair to be beside you on the journey in exploring, and learning to cope with, the full range of human emotion’. This individual therapy, as well as group sessions, provides an opportunity for honest conversations – to strengthen bonds and to gain support from both trained professionals and those with similar experiences.

“By trying to get things right now, a path is paved towards a better future for the next generation.”

We believe it important to share the research showing that this 1001 days lays the foundation for every child’s future health, wellbeing, learning and earnings potential, which is why Little Minds in Mind is so important. Caregivers learning and adapting creates a positive chain reaction. Children North East’s motivations for this work gravitates around giving caregivers the chance to create healthy relationships and build bright futures for their babies.

“Babies are always at the heart of the work.”

We want to continue acting on this insightful research and providing services that keep the Little Minds in Mind, to give all babies the chance to grow up happy and healthy.

• Find out more about our available support on the Little Minds in Mind website page.
• Find more information for professionals on this flyer, and for parents and caregivers on this flyer.
• Learn more about why the 1001 days matter on the Parent-Infant Foundation website.

Little Minds in Mind is made possible thanks to thanks to players of People’s Postcode Lottery, as well as Newcastle City Council and NHS Newcastle Gateshead Clinical Commissioning Group.

This week is Maternal Mental Health Week, and this year it is looking at the Power of Connection. One member of our team shares her experience of Post-natal depression, and hopes for the future of Perinatal Support Services.  

During the multiple lockdowns of the pandemic, our need for social connection, and how to stay connected with one another whilst maintaining physical distance, was tested to the limit.  

Even before the Pandemic, feeling isolated was one of most common struggles for new parents, with 52% reporting feeling lonely in an Action for Children study in 2017 [1]. With the lifeline of toddler groups, play dates and cups of tea stripped away, its unsurprising that rates that of Maternal Mental Health problems have increased [2], and appropriate that the theme of this year’s Maternal Mental Health Week is the Power of Connection.  

“My hope is that this will create earlier intervention pathways before women reach crisis.”

My third child was born in September 2020. After weathering the first lockdown, we were looking forward to reconnecting with friends and family, sharing the joy of our new arrival. But as I started maternity leave, Covid restrictions started to creep back in, and instead of looking forward to welcoming our new addition, we were panicking about finding someone to care for our older children during labour without ‘breaking any rules’.  

My daughter and I both had some health complications in the weeks following her birth but I kept my chin up, my heart set on Boris’s promise that we would ‘have Christmas’. The family would get chance to meet the little one, and we could settle into a new routine in the New Year with the kids back in school.  

How wrong we were.  

It is a strange experience bonding with a new child but at the same time grieving for what you have lost –not being able to share the joy of her arrival with our family and friends in person genuinely felt like a bereavement – a loss of precious connection.  

In the darkness of winter 2021, as the pandemic dragged on, the isolation, exhaustion and seemingly endless lockdown took their toll. Exacerbated by post-natal hormone changes and sleep deprivation, and without the respite of help from friends and family with childcare or the housework, I slipped into serious depression. I began having trouble with cognitive processing, sensory overload and overwhelm. Bombarded by endless news about the pandemic, and with all means of ‘staying connected’ linked to media and social media, things became amplified and distorted, like living in a fishbowl.  

Most parents at some point worry about what would happen to their kids if they fell ill. For me, these worries took on a life of their own. Intrusive thoughts became all encompassing, almost a psychotic obsession. I became terrified of catching Covid and not being able to care for my children. I wanted to hide from the world, avoiding any risk, but at the same time, trapped in my own four walls, I felt like I was suffocating. 

I contacted my GP a couple of times over the winter, but with NHS services at breaking point, a combination of inappropriate referrals, cancelled appointments, and ineffective virtual assessments prevented me getting the help I needed. I felt abandoned, invisible and worthless. Eventually I was referred to the Perinatal Mental Health Service, but still faced a 5-month wait for support.  

At this point, my survival instinct kicked in, and with encouragement from a couple of good friends, I took matters into my own hands. I began attending a peer-led recovery group run by a local church, which brought some focus to my week and anchored me as I started to build my recovery. I could turn up in whatever state I was in, say exactly what I was thinking or feeling, without fear of judgement and knowing it would never be discussed outside the group. Finally, I felt seen and heard.  

“We need face-to-face services that provide real human connection for vulnerable parents who so desperately need it during pregnancy and early parenthood.”

As winter turned to spring, walks with lovely people who listened, didn’t judge and graciously tolerated my spaced-out rambling nonsense enabled me to start to feel connected again, that I hadn’t been abandoned.  

I have been working with the Perinatal Team for the last six months and the support has been amazing. The tools I am learning to use are useful, practical, and the longer-term nature of the support has given me the time and space to process my feelings, fears, experiences, patterns of thinking and trauma. I am hopeful that what I am learning about myself though the process and the tools I now have will leave me much better equipped to manage my mental health in the future.  

Reflecting on my own experience has given me some insight into what support services for new parents need to look like.  

It is brilliant that Perinatal Mental Health support will be a core part of the Family Hubs model in England. My hope is that this will create earlier intervention pathways before women reach crisis. For support to be effective and meaningful, it needs to be regular, face-to-face, not time limited, and with a consistent individual building trust and connection.  

Listening and validating experiences needs to be at the heart of support parents receive, as well as exploring strategies to understand and manage their mental health, and support to build the confidence needed to opportunities for social connection in their communities.  

It is also critical that Baroness Hallett’s Covid Inquiry fully considers the impact the pandemic and the government’s response has had on babies, children, young people and parents, acknowledging the seriousness of Maternal Mental Health and ensuring lessons are learned. Listening needs to be at the heart of this, ensuring those who have felt invisible during the pandemic are acknowledged.   

If my daughter’s first few months had not been spent in lockdown, with all normal social connection stripped away, my experience would have been vastly different. As we ‘Build Back Better’, we need to embrace the good about the power of digital platforms that have played a crucial role during the pandemic. But virtual provision mustn’t become a default. We need face-to-face services that provide real human connection for vulnerable parents who so desperately need it during pregnancy and early parenthood, enable us to identify where people are struggling and put in place the right support when needed. Otherwise, we will continue to see unacceptably high rates of poor Maternal Mental Health and all the risks this poses for parents, infants and families.  

The following organisations provide advice, support and services to those affected by mental health and their friends and families: Maternal Mental Health Alliance, PaNDAS Foundation (Prenatal and Post Natal Depression support), Mind, Rethink Mental Illness, Samaritans, SANE.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or emergency, you can get immediate support from the NSH Mental Health helpline on 0800 652 2861. Or, if you would like to speak to someone confidentially, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours.

[1] rb_dec17_jocox_commission_finalreport.pdf (d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net)

[2] Frontiers | Moms Are Not OK: COVID-19 and Maternal Mental Health | Global Women’s Health (frontiersin.org) 

With Summer Term upon us, colourful cones and team vests are being prepared for playgrounds and fields across the country. From Sports Day to team activities, sports are an important part of the school day. However, they can also be a key space for inequality to develop, with kit costs, equipment and travel making participation more difficult for children living in poverty. In this article Craig Watson, Poverty Proofing Co-Ordinator at Children North East, shares best practice guidance on creating inclusive school sports.

School sports are an essential part of pupils’ experience being missed

Physical activity has numerous benefits for children and young people’s physical health, as well as their mental wellbeing, and children who are physically active are happier, more resilient and more trusting of their peers. [1]

For these reasons, amongst others, PE is a statutory part of the National Curriculum for Maintained schools in England, with the DfE recommending at least 90 minutes of physical exercise in Primary and Secondary each week. Yet, despite the many positives, some pupils are missing out on these opportunities due to living in poverty.

PE kits are an extension of uniform with their own challenges

During my own time in school, I enjoyed PE, but even as a child I noticed it seemed to be the same children each week forgetting their kit or having an excuse for why they couldn’t do PE. I assumed they just didn’t like PE, and maybe it was as simple as that, but now looking back at it from the view of a Poverty Proofing Coordinator, I understand there is often a deeper reason.

When we work with schools conducting Poverty Proofing® audits, one of the areas that we look at is uniform and, within that, PE kits. We look to find out what the children feel and experience around the rules of PE kits and the consequences for not having it, from being able to borrow kit to not being able to participate in the lesson.

For some children, yes it may be a case that they can be forgetful and occasionally they forget their kit, but what if it is more than that? When a pattern arises, questions schools can reflect on include:

• What if that child is saying they have forgotten their kit because their family can’t actually afford to buy the PE kit?
• What if that child has a PE kit but it is old and ripped and through fear of embarrassment they would rather say ‘I forgot my kit’ than wear it?
• What if their PE kit is dirty but there isn’t enough money in the house to get the washing machine fixed, and saying ‘I don’t have my PE shirt’ is easier than explaining that?

Taking the Poverty Proofing® approach to PE kits

At Children North East, we suggest that when pupils are not in the correct uniform, including PE kit, it should be taken as an indication that there may be difficulties at home and this should be used as an opportunity to offer support rather than sanction.

There are many ways to support children and their families, and we have seen many examples of fantastic practice in our work across UK schools. Lots of schools are trying to remove the shame and stigma around not having the correct PE kit by changing policies to avoid the need for school-branded equipment or by using it as an opportunity to speak to the child. Feedback from pupils at these schools have included:

• “If it’s repetitive they would just talk to you rather than tell you off.”Pupil
• “They always have spares so you don’t need to worry.”Pupil
• “I love the fact that uniform [and PE kit] doesn’t have to be branded as this can reduce the cost.” Parent

How to implement best practice in your school

Relaxed kit rules

These quotes show that you don’t have to re-invent the wheel to make PE in school more inclusive for all. Having a more relaxed kit can be one of the most supportive ways schools can help families and children partake in PE. Many schools are now doing this; encouraging children to try and wear either the PE kit or plain clothing that, if possible, matches the school colours (i.e if the school kit is a branded blue t-shirt, make it clear that plain blue is equally appropriate).

Communicate with parents

Some schools do this but do not communicate it clearly with families. Updated wording on uniform policies can be helpful and uniform policies on school websites should make it clear that plain clothing is more than suitable. Some parents we have spoken with found that it can be hard to find plain clothes that match the correct shade of school uniform and so to avoid embarrassment they would buy the branded school wear. One method to get around this would be to adjust school PE tops to be white. Plain white t-shirts are readily available and there would then be no concern around finding the correct shade.

Promote a no logo approach

The one caveat to having a policy like this is to re-enforce the idea that clothes with large logos should be avoided, as this is a way of highlighting financial differences and can put the pressure back that the school is trying to remove.

Reduce the stress and stigma of spare kit

Another important practice schools can do is to ensure the quality, range and presentation of spare kit is to a good standard. Although many schools since the pandemic have been more cautious about handing out spares, having a good standard of spare clothing can help reduce the stigma around using these, I remember myself the dread of trying to find a pair of shorts from lost property that hopefully resembled some sort of appropriate size without holes or stains on them!

Some schools choose to have a central location for all spare kit where it can be effectively managed and maintained and some choose to have individual class spares.

Each have their merits and downfalls and it’s all about what works best for your school. A central location can be great as these will often have a larger range of sizes accessible and can be easier to manage but depending on its location within school, it can make it obvious who is regularly accessing them and daunting for children to go there. Alternatively, spares in class can be much subtler but can sometimes lack a range of sizes and finding space to keep a well organised bank of spares is not always possible.

Schools work incredibly hard to support their children and would never intentionally want to highlight or embarrass someone living in poverty, but next time you hear a child say “Teacher, I’ve forgot my kit again,” think; is it just because it’s a rainy Monday morning and they don’t want to do PE, or could it be something more?

[1] PE and sport premium for primary schools, GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

In the week when our report, The Cost of Having Fun at School was published in partnership with Child Poverty Action Group, Francesca Hogg, Poverty Proofing Practice Advisor at Children North East gives her insight on schools can deliver fun without financial burden.

We often see social media strewn with joyous pictures of pupils adorning their World Book Day costumes, their scary Halloween outfits or their festive Christmas jumpers.

But have you ever thought about the costs and resources required for these fun events, and the worry they can cause children and their families?

My role as Poverty Proofing Practice Adviser gives me an understanding of the common themes across the Poverty Proofing the School Day and UK Cost of the School Day projects. One of the things children and their families tell us time and again is that fun events at school can be a barrier to fully participating in school life.

While schools aim to provide enriching experiences through activities like charity days, dress-up days and cultural celebrations, these can be a source of anxiety and financial pressure. They can also be stigmatising for children who have no choice but to wear their school uniform while watching their peers compare outfits with one another.

“It’s about adopting a different point of view – one that includes all the children in your school.”

Asking for the odd charity donation here and there may not seem like much, but the requests mount up over the year with non-uniform days, charity merchandise, food for Christmas parties and Eid celebrations, costumes for Nativity plays, spending money for the school disco, and on and on. That’s before we even consider other school costs families have to meet for uniforms, trips and resources.

The young people we have spoken to have reflected on some of the costs of fun events, with many telling us they didn’t think they were always worth it:

“I maybe spent about £200 on stuff for prom. It wasn’t worth it for the event because it wasn’t that great.” (Pupil, age 16)

It’s clear from our research with young people and families that we need to consider how to mark special occasions differently, ensuring students enjoy them without burdening families with expenses. From my experience, I know that young people have lots of creative solutions, so I’d urge schools to consult with their pupils on how to make their fun events more inclusive.

Our Cost of Having Fun at School report has practical recommendations, showing that it’s possible to include these events in the school year in a way that makes no child feel left out or different. Schools don’t need to make costly or drastic changes: it’s about adopting a different point of view – one that includes all the children in your school, regardless of their financial background.

It’s time to start listening to the voices and experiences of children and young people and putting them at the heart of our policies and practices, so all children can experience the joy school can bring.

Read the Cost of Having Fun Report now

We all know the cost of living is going up, and this is going to hardest hit those already living in poverty in the North East. Children North East is joining with partners across the country to ask the government to ensure the benefits system protects the poorest in our communities by introducing a benefits uplift in line with inflation.

The UK is facing the fastest rising cost of living in decades, and many of us are feeling the pinch, or noticing the increase in the cost of a weekly shop. Some of us might be cutting back on treats, not getting that takeaway, or considering cancelling Netflix to make our budget stretch further.

However, with 37% of children in the North East already growing up in families living below the poverty line[i], for many of us, those choices are much harder.

The removal of the £20 per week Universal Credit uplift in October means thousands of families have already had to shave a significant amount off their budgets, and now face yet another real-terms cut, with government’s proposed 3.1% uprating of benefits in April falling well below the actual inflation rate of 7%. This is the equivalent difference of families losing £570 per year in income[ii].

If all babies, children and young people are to be able to grow up happy and healthy, we need to ensure families can afford the basics so they are warm, well fed and have the chance to thrive. However, we know that already this is not the case:

• Figures published earlier this year show that 1.8 million children are living in families in “Very Deep Poverty”, meaning they struggle to afford the basics[iii]
• 22% of these households live with ‘food insecurity’, meaning they struggle to regularly access the right amount and type of food for a balanced diet[iv]
• One million adults in the UK went an entire day without food last month because they could not afford to eat or access food[v]
• The number of people relying on food banks is at a record high[vi].

In practice, this means babies living in cold homes because families cannot afford to heat their houses properly, leading to an increased risk of complications from respiratory illness[vii], and it means children have an inadequate diet, leading to obesity and oral health problems because of eating more low-cost, high-sugar food[viii]. If families cannot afford to meet their basic needs, their children’s health is at risk, and this increases pressure on our health system.

We see this impact in education too, as the experience of growing up in poverty impacts on children’s ability to engage fully with school and the opportunities on offer. Our recent joint report with Child Poverty Action Group[ix], which involved speaking to 4,500 pupils in primary and secondary schools in England, has highlighted children living in poverty experience exclusion and stigma because of poverty:

“You don’t know they will have a cost when you choose your GCSEs” (Year 10 pupil on cost of materials for Design and Technology courses)

“I don’t want to make my mum feel bad cos she can’t buy lots of stuff, so I don’t ask her” (Year 4 pupil)

“I beg my mum to get new things, but I know how stressed she is, then I get stressed” (Year 6 pupil)

In the light of this wealth of evidence, it is utterly unthinkable that the government would now consider hitting these same families with further real terms cut to their income, the second in 6 months. That is why Children North East is standing alongside a collective of organisations from across the country; including the Joseph Rowntree Foundation, Trussell Trust and Child Poverty Action Group to call for immediate action to ensure from April families get a fair settlement reflective of the reality of inflation.

You can support us by sharing this campaign on social media – watch out for our content over the coming days, which you can re-share. You can also write to your MP through the website www.writetothem.com your own message or using our handy template.

In these difficult times, we need to come together, and we need to hold our leaders to account to ensure that everyone is able to afford the basics, to ensure babies, children and young people are able to grow up happy and healthy.

[i] Facts & figures – North East Child Poverty Commission | Every child deserves an equal chance in life. (nechildpoverty.org.uk)

[ii] Nothing left to cut back: rising living costs and universal credit | CPAG

[iii] Rising energy bills to ‘devastate’ poorest families, adding to harmful legacy for millions of children sinking deeper into poverty | JRF

[iv] UK Poverty 2022: The essential guide to understanding poverty in the UK | JRF

[v] New data shows food insecurity major challenge to levelling up agenda | Food Foundation

[vi] Impact-Report-2021-final-web.pdf (trusselltrust.org)

[vii] the-health-impacts-of-cold-homes-and-fuel-poverty.pdf (instituteofhealthequity.org)

[viii] Reducing Social and Health Inequalities.pdf (bradford.gov.uk)

[ix] Cost of the School Day England: Pupil’s Perspectives (children-ne.org.uk)